


temper with what is true

by lotts (LottieAnna)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, M/M, does this qualify as a character study?, toddler pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-19 04:02:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14228820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/pseuds/lotts
Summary: Sadness is a big, complicated, grown-up emotion, Nikita thinks. He does not think he has ever been sad before; he has been hungry, and he has been hurt, and he has been scared, and he has been tired. He thinks being scared is the most like being sad.





	temper with what is true

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsahockeyplay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsahockeyplay/gifts).
  * Inspired by [the sounds of life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13136178) by [itsahockeyplay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsahockeyplay/pseuds/itsahockeyplay). 



> hi if you or someone you know is mentioned in the tags for this story, please look away. anything that looks even remotely real or familiar is based off of public knowledge about public figures. the rest is entirely fictional!
> 
> thanks to the mods for running this exchange, itsahockeyplay for writing the original story, a for the beta, and stephen sondheim for the title.

Papa’s friend is sad. 

Nikita does not like it when he is sad. He has very big brown eyes, and Nikita likes them very much, because when they smile, he feels happy, but right now, his mouth is smiling but his eyes are not, which means he is sad. 

He is saying words. 

Nikita does not know words yet. Words are something that Papa and Mama and Papa’s friends and Mama’s friends and Papa’s Mama and Papa and Mama’s Papa and Mama use. They are for big people. Nikita is, unfortunately, still quite small. 

The point is, Nikita does not know why Papa’s friend is sad, because the only explanation he offers, he is offering with words. They sound different from the words Mama and Papa use. They are a little like the words Papa says to Papa’s friend. 

Nikita has no idea what any of the words mean, though, so they do not really matter. 

Sadness is a big, complicated, grown-up emotion, Nikita thinks. He does not think he has ever been sad before; he has been hungry, and he has been hurt, and he has been scared, and he has been tired. He thinks being scared is the most like being sad. 

He knows Papa gets scared. He sometimes does that thing where he tries to smile, but his eyes are not smiling, when he is scared. That means being scared is a lot like being sad. At least, this is what Nikita thinks. 

It is very strange that Papa’s friend is sad, though, because Papa’s friend is sometimes very happy when Papa is around. 

Happiness is a big, simple emotion that Nikita understands well. He is happy a lot. He is happy when he is playing with his toys, and when he is eating good food, and when he has just eaten good food, and when Papa lifts him up very high in the air. He is sometimes a little scared too, which Papa lifts him up like that, but he knows Papa will not let him get hurt, and that the only reason he is being lifted so high in the air is because Papa is very, very big. 

Nikita recently learned that the bigger people are, the farther from the ground you are when they lift you. It was a pretty remarkable discovery, he thinks. 

Papa’s friend, who is sad, is not as big as Papa. He is still quite big, and bigger than most people who are bigger than Nikita. Almost everyone Nikita has met is bigger than Nikita, except for dogs. Nikita has met a few dogs smaller than him. 

Many are bigger, though. 

Dogs can be very big. The biggest people he knows are bigger than even the biggest of dogs. 

Papa  _ loves  _ big dogs. Nikita has been on the backs of many big dogs. It is a very happy thing. 

So, Nikita understands happiness, and he kind of understands sadness, a little bit, but he does not understand why Papa’s friend is sad, because Papa’s friend is happy around Papa a lot of the time. 

Nikita does not understand how someone who makes you happy can also make you sad, but then again, sometimes Papa makes him happy, and sometimes he is scared when Papa lifts him up very high, and being scared is a little like being sad. 

…… 

Nikita has decided that he is very mad at Papa. 

He does not want to be, but Papa made his friend  _ sad.  _

And now, Papa’s friend is  _ gone,  _ and Nikita misses him and his big brown eyes. 

Maybe being mad is a little like being sad. Papa is sad now too, but it is his fault that his friend left, and Nikita knows this, because he is  _ smart.  _ He saw the way Papa’s friend went from sad to sadder and then left and has not come back yet. 

Nikita will not stand for this.  

……  

It is very obvious to Nikita that Papa should be around his friend more. 

Papa is saying something to Nikita, and it is probably about his friend, which Nikita can tell by his I-am-talking-about-my-friend-with-nice-big-eyes face. 

Grown-ups should bother less with words, and look more at each other’s faces. Clearly Nikita has a better sense of the whole situation than Papa does, and Nikita doesn’t even really know what sadness is, yet. 

Maybe, if Nikita tried to say words, Papa would listen. He has tried this tactic in the past, but it has yet to work. 

He tries anyway. 

Papa looks at him like he did not at all hear what Nikita was saying—so no words yet, drat—but he looks very woken-up, all of a sudden, and then he is lifting Nikita very high in the air and kissing him and asking him questions and Nikita does not try to answer, and then, they are going somewhere. 

Nikita does not know where they are going, but he is not super great at the whole “walking” thing yet, so he is often carried places. Thankfully, his calendar is much clearer than Papa’s. He suspects this will change with age.

…… 

Papa is at a strange house with a gate and he is very scared. Nikita knows how to tell when Papa is scared, and Papa is definitely scared. 

Happy-scared, though. Not sad-scared. 

Papa rings the doorbell. 

The door opens, and—  

Oh!

Papa’s friend is here!!! 

Papa is saying words to him that are making him look confused and a little scared, but Nikita doesn’t care, because he has missed Papa’s friend so much! 

Thankfully, Papa says more words, and Papa’s friend looks less confused, and then he is holding Nikita. 

This was an excellent decision on Papa’s part. 

(Unfortunately, Nikita is not feeling well, very suddenly, and so Papa ends up holding him again, while his friend takes off the shirt Nikita got sick on. 

It does not matter. Papa and his friend are saying words and that means they are friends again. Nikita has missed him a lot.) 

Except then— 

There are more words. 

And more faces doing very confusing things that are not happy or sad or hurting or mad or hungry or scared or confused, but are also all of those things? This is much more than Nikita can handle; he barely understands sadness, let alone all of these different combinations. 

And then their mouths are doing something weird—like, touching? But with their mouths? It is a very confusing thing, and their eyes are closed, and Nikita does not like being held high up when Papa’s eyes are closed, so he uses his hand to ask them to stop touching mouths if their eyes are going to be closed. 

They listen, and Nikita is pleased with that, and even more pleased when Papa hands him over to his friend. 

Now that his eyes are open, Nikita can look at his face. His eyes are as big as Nikita remembered them being, but now, his face is smiling, and his eyes are too, and Nikita is very happy to see him, because he is happy, and Papa is happy, too, and Nikita does not think they will be not-happy any time soon. Happy does not go away easily. 

Papa’s friend says some words, and Nikita isn’t sure what they are, but he thinks Papa’s friend might have missed him, too. 

Nikita is a very big fan of Papa’s friend. He is glad he is happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> itsahockeyplay: i read your fic and was like "oh man what if i did this from the baby's point of view. i bet the baby is so over their obliviousness." it started out as a joke, but then i started writing it, and god, this was such a fun thing. thank you for the incredible source material!!! i read it a bazillion times and still smile at the getting-together part every time. (i know a few small details--like nikita tugging on geno's collar and grabbing his sunglasses--got left out, but i like to think that when toddlers pick things up and throw them on the ground at random, they're acting mostly on instinct). i don't know a huge amount about babies or the way they think (aside from having seen baby geniuses and baby geniuses 2 an embarrassing number of times), but i tried my best, and i really hope you enjoyed this <3


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